If My Girlfriend's Rico, There's Gonna be Trouble
by Jesus.Lives
Summary: What happens when Jackson and Rico get matched results on an internet dating website? What happens when Lilly, Oliver and Miley put themselves up on the same site? YOUR PAIRING CHOICE: Loliver, Lackson, Moliver or Rickson? Or ALL OF THEM IN ONE FIC!
1. If My Girlfriend's Rico

_A/N. I don't pretend to own HM, or even this idea. This is an idea I conveniently stole from RumbaMamboQuickstepFoxtrotCha who probably got it from someone else._

_Their iCarly fic with the same premise is definitely worth a look – so check it out if you get the chance._

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**If My Girlfriend's Rico Then There's Going to be Trouble.**

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**_Summary: Due to one fatal mistake, Jackson ends up with Rico as his perfect compatibility choice... and neither of them know it! What happens when Miley, Lilly and Oliver submit their profiles for annoynmous compatibilities too?_**

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This was too funny. Jackson held the paper above Rico's head… taunting him. Jackson rarely got to do this with anyone else unless he was standing on a stool, which is what made punishing Rico so much more amusing for him, as a surefire way for him to forget that even his baby sister was growing taller than him now.

Rico had grown too…. which made Jackson make even more frequent jibes about his height, because of the reminder that dreaded day would come all too soon where Rico and himself would be at eye level.

"You want the address, you'll have to beg me for it!"

Today's taunting had begun with the hottest new dating site which Jackson swore he would find some hot chicks that would be all over him at. Rico begged to differ.

"So what are you going to do, send in a picture of your armpit hair?"

"As a matter of fact, I think that's a very good idea."

Rico rolled his eyes.

Jackson pouted and let Rico grab the paper, like a lion bored of the mouse he was playing with. "It's not like a little runt like you could ever get a date on this site anyway."

"Oh yeah?" Rico raised his eyebrow. "You want to bet?"

"How much?"

"Your weeks pay?"

"How about you make it my months pay? I win and I get a month off, full pay."

"I win and you get nothing." Rico threw his head back "Mwhahahahahahahahahaha".

"This is going to be such easy money."

"Oh yeah? You think you can get a date off this site before I do? You're on, worker."

Jackson started cleaning the counter. "Not by next week I won't be."

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"Hey what's that?" Lilly snatched a piece of paper off the Stewart counter later on.

"Oh, that's just a new dating website Jackson's been talking about." Miley answered nonchalantly as the three of them sat around the counter taking a break from their studies.

Oliver took it from her, "Dating website huh?"

"Why?" Lilly asked, "Smokin' Oken needin' some online help?"

"So what if I do?" he asked defensively.

Lilly grabbed the paper back. "Well too bad."

"Give it too me Lilly."

"Nope. Maybe I'll give it a try."

"Why don't you both give it a try and help me sneak some of this ice-cream into my bedroom" Miley said opening the freezer door.

"I'm not going on a dating website" Lilly and Oliver said together.

"It's the perfect cure for your dating slump." Miley suggested to both of them.

"Fine" heaved Oliver.

"Fine" Lilly replied, eyeing Oliver nastily and then turning to Miley. "But you have to do something about your dating slump too."

"Fine" said Miley coldly, taking the ice-cream out of the freezer.

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**Yes. The pairings are undecided in this fic - which is why I want you to tell me if you want it to be a...**

**A. Loliver fic**

**B. Lackson fic**

**C. Moliver fic**

**D. Jiley/Lake fic (Jake can always swing by)**

**or a E. Rickson fic**


	2. Rrrriiico's Mistake

_A/N.__ Pairings will crop up in this story until the finally tally of popularity decides the end.__ This is how this works – shorter chapters, faster update, story progresses, everyone is happy! _

_On with the story:_

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**Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiico's**** Mistake**

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After they had finished their homework Lilly and Miley went to work signing up on the site. When Oliver came down to have a look Lilly threw him out of the house telling him it was 'girls only'.

While Oliver scowled and shuffled away from the Stewart residence, Lilly turned back to Miley.

"Should I put Hannah Montana under 'likes'? Because it would be too egotistical to like myself… but if the match they pick for me doesn't like Hannah Montana, then it would never work out…"

"Of course. I'm putting Hannah Montana under 'likes'." Lilly said absently staring at the screen where Miley was filling out her details. "And all of Hannah's clothes, and all of Hannah's appearances, and all of Hannah's concerts and all of Hannah's…"

"Is that it?"

"Nope. You better make it fast, cause I'm going to be a while" Lilly replied thinking of all the different things she liked and compiling a verrrrrrry long mental list.

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**Meanwhile:**

Jackson sat at his friend Coop's place getting help with his submission.

"You can't put money and women as the answer to everything, man!" Coop told him, as Jackson bit his lip and tried to think of other answers to the questions.

"But I can't think of what I like besides money, women and making fun of Rico."

"What about drawing faces on our stomachs?"

"Genius!" Jackson yelled ecstatically and typed it in.

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**Still meanwhile:**

After hours of comprehensive personality testing and filling out forms, Rico sighed and pressed send – not noticing one crucial detail he missed… no it was not the part where he had backspaced after putting 'rule the world' under the question of 'ambitions' (and then replaced it with 'money' the second best thing) … but where he accidently scrolled too far at the top of the page and instead of the 'sex' registering as male, it had flipped over to the second option of '_female'_.

"Let the ladies come runnin', cause Rrrrrrrico is on the internet."

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**To quote Rico – "****Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahaha****".**** Yeah, he deserves it.**** Keep letting me know your pairing choice! **


	3. Boys Will Be Girls

_A/N. The title of this chapter is from one of my fave songs - Lola. But somehow I can't hear it anymore without thinking of Futurama and Zapp changing it to 'Leela'. For all intents and purposes I propose changing it to 'Rico'. Mwhahahahahahahahaha... (Man, that's catchy!)._

_Just to let y'all know... Moliver is slightly ahead in the polls (I count double requests) - 16 to Moliver. 13 to Loliver and 9 to Lackson. And EVERYBODY wants to see some Rickson._

_Hope you're appeased by this chapter:_

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**Boys Will Be Girls...**

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Rico blew on his hands and stared at the computer screen. He was in business… he got an IM from what he could only assume to be his online hottie and was getting ready to put on the lines. 

'Hey sweet cakes' he typed.

Jackson looked at his monitor and blinked a couple of times. _'Sweet cakes'?__ This girl was not shy!_ Jackson grinned and typed back making sure his spelling was better than it was in school.

'Hey my soon to be Saturday night sweetie'.

'Whatcha doing right now?' Rico smirked slyly – hoping she was going to say the equivalent of being undressed or the like.

'Just thought I'd msg you before going to work.'

'You work?'

'Don't you?'

Rico laughed to himself. _Work was for plebes._ He snorted as he typed his response, trying to stay as smooth as possible: 'pretty hands like yours shouldn't have to work'.

Jackson looked down at his hands. They were pretty. He admired them for a few seconds. 'No they shouldn't… but my boss is a grade A jerk.'

'Wow. Someone should teach him a lesson.'

'I've been working on it.'

'So have you got any plans for the weekend?'

'Probably work. As I said… jerk.'

'Drat' Rico typed. _Wait… why did I just type that?_ He thought and pounded his hand on the desk around him. His ticket to Jackson's wages had just landed in his lap and he couldn't do anything about it because of some jerk of a boss that he didn't know since the whole dating thing was supposed to be anonymous!

'I know! I'd better go.'

'Bye Sweetie.'

'Goodbye' Jackson typed and signed off. _Sweetie?_ Boy was she feisty. They had only just met! _Just the type of girls I like…_ Jackson thought, throwing on his Rico's shirt and heading out.

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Miley sat next to Lilly as she opened her private messaging on the website they had just signed up for and let out a long squeal. 

"I got a message! And look! It's from Hannah Montana's Best Friend!"

"Crazy girl on my computer say what?"

Miley looked down at the username on her screen – sure enough it said _HannahMontanasBFF_ . Was it possible? Could it really have been?

"Let's hope he doesn't mean literally" Miley said under her breath. Lilly didn't hear her.

"Wow! " Lilly rambled obliviously, "We have so much in common already!"

Miley felt a sting in her stomach. Her mind was already off in 'worst case scenario land' where Lilly and Oliver would meet online, fall in love and leave Miley to spend the rest of her life crying in her bedroom. OK. That was a little over dramatic, and she was sure that once Lilly found out it was Oliver the common response would be: "Eek! It's the donut!" and she would hit him on the arm or something.

_Yep. I've got nothing to worry about_. Miley thought and waited her turn to open her account and see if her own blind date could make her stop worrying about Lilly and Oliver's potential matches.

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**Still taking pairing requests as the ending is undecided. The sooner you review - the sooner I update!**


	4. iDating Hannah's Stalker

_A/N. Moliver is still in the lead. But only just. Let me know if you think Rico would be a pretty girl. Hmmm... should we dress him in a bright blue 'Lola' wig, or something a little more subtle? ;)_

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**iDating Hannah's Stalker**

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Miley sat in front of her computer this time. "Wow. My guy likes 'being normal'. That's a step up from Jake Ryan."

"He doesn't like Jake Ryan too does he?"

"Well of course… but Jake Ryan is the Zombie Slayer. Everyone likes Jake Ryan." Miley answered matter of factly.

"Especially Jake Ryan" Lilly put in as Jackson walked past the two of them, whistling and causing Miley's eyebrows to rise.

"What's got into you?" Miley asked suspiciously.

"Let's just say I got a major 'hit' on the iDating site and soon I'm going to have a month vacation with pay at the expense of Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiccoooo."

"That sounds awesome! I got a hit off of it too!" Lilly said to Jackson excitedly.

Jackson leaned over and patted her on the head. "Good stuff" he said simply leaving her to cross her arms and look annoyed, and just a little bit hurt.

"Well my match is really cool" Lilly sounded just a little bit too defensive at the nonchalance of Jackson, "He likes all the same things as me, especially the coolness of Hannah Montana's wardrobe."

Jackson shook his head, "He likes Hannah's _wardrobe_?"

"He said he does."

Jackson now looked at Miley, "crazy stalker or just crazy?"

Miley just shrugged. She hoped it was Oliver at a time like this, because Lilly falling for another one of Hannah's biggest fans was just too dangerous and scary to contemplate.

Lilly pouted. "Well I think he's cool" she said turning away from both of them. The last thing she wanted was another moment of moping around the Stewart residence because she'd fallen for a jerk. So she did the best thing she could and kidded herself that her match was perfect for her. After all – it was a professional, serious dating site. They wouldn't set her up with a donut… _would they?_

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**Sometime Later…**

"I'll have you know that I have this girl like putty in my hands" Jackson said to Rico, throwing a towel over his shoulder.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I was just taking my break."

"Oh no. You don't get a break. No date, no break." Rico was being particularly evil that afternoon… but no amount of evilness would suffice without that laugh. He threw back his head. Jackson cringed, waiting for it.

_3… 2… 1…_

"Mwhahahahahahahahahahahaha! Now clean my shoes!"

"You're not wearing shoes!"

"Oh, right. Clean something then. You're not getting paid for nothing."

Jackson grumbled and went to find something to clean, tucking his towel back under the counter in annoyance.

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**Want to see how oblivious Lilly ****really ****is and why Rico is really so angry? Press that little button.**


	5. My Screen is Smokin'

_A/N. Poor, innocent, naive Lilly... and Rico. Let's not forget about Rico and his 'Lola' wig. _

_Pairings are evening out. Loliver is getting up there. But none are officially decided until the last chapter of luuuuurrrrvvveeee..._

_Speaking of luuuuurrrvvveeee..._

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**My Screen is Smokin'**

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'Hey!' Lilly wrote on an IM as soon as her 'match' came online. She had been waiting half the day. Oliver came over for a while and they watched TV while she kept checking her computer screen and now, thirty minutes after the Ollie Trollie had departed, her possible new boyfriend had alerted her with a buzz and a ding coming from her computer speakers. 

'Hey' he replied.

Lilly squealed. 'We're already so much alike! I always greet people with 'hey'' she typed.

'Alright!'

'Are you going to Hannah's next show?' she asked and bit her lip wondering what he was going to talk with her about this time.

'Yeah, if she invites me'

Lilly raised an eyebrow, 'What do you mean if she invites you?'

'Oh, I didn't mean she as in Hannah, I meant she as in my mom. Nope. I definitely do not know Hannah Montana.'

'You go to Hannah Montana concerts with your mom?'

'No.'

'Okay.' Lilly was looking at the computer screen with an odd look on her face. That look that she usually reserved for the dumb things that came out of Oliver's mouth.

'Look, I'm not really good at these types of things.'

'You mean dating?'

'Yeah.'

'Neither am I.' Lilly confessed to the anonymous boy on her IM. 'I've tried to change who I am but I always end up looking stupid instead.'

'I think that's happened to everyone.'

'And I'm not one of those girly girls.'

'You mean like Hannah?'

'I guess.'

'That's ok. Not everyone can be like Hannah. You are blond though right?'

'Why? Do I sound like it?'

'No reason. Uhhhh… blonds have more fun?'

'Are you blond then?'

'No. I guess I'm not really that fun then.'

'I'm sure you're lots of fun.'

'I suppose I have my moments.'

'I think you'd be really good for me' Lilly didn't quite know why she typed that next. She was just feeling so comfortable talking to this guy, even though they were basically talking about nothing.

'You think so? Owch. Don't touch me, I must be smokin''

'Maybe you're on fire' Lilly offered and shook her head at the screen.

'It's getting hot in here, I must be.'

'As long as you're keeping your clothes on.'

'If I didn't know any better, I would be insulted at that.'

'Don't be. Keep that fire burning' she wrote finally and ended it with a winky face.

'I will if you like it' he responded back right away.

There was something about this guy she really liked, Lilly was thinking to herself as she signed off.

**

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**

Rico scrolled through his profile on iDate, the profile that was for his eyes only because the rest of it was censored from the public, except for the username 'irule4eva' which was displayed to his one match the site gave him.

It was only then, two days after submission that he saw that his profile had him listed as 'female'.

"No! This cannot be!" he said scrolling down the page and looking for an edit button. All he found was a sentence at the bottom of the page that read: 'all submissions are final'.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" he yelled from his spot in the seat next to the bathrooms at Rico's causing the birds nearby to squawk and flutter away.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Rico yelled again causing any nearby patrons to scoot away from the scene as quickly as possible.

Rico wasn't going to be beat that easily though. As long as he got a date, even if it was with a man, then he would still beat Jackson... and seeing Jackson cry would be worth it.

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**What does Oliver think about his match? What about Miley? Review for more!**


	6. Mah Donut Say What?

_A/N. Wow - This story hasn't been up long and there's already a rip off version (my boyfriend's mikayla) that was put up today! But, what can I say... it's a good idea!_

_And yes, I know it's annoying to continue voting for your pairing choice, but just one vote might tip the scale and change the entire outcome of the story._

_Enjoy!_

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**Mah Donut Say What?**

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"Tell me!" Miley pressured one of her best friends, Oliver, as she grabbed him and yanked him away from Lilly at Rico's.

"Tell you what?"

"Boy, don't play dumb with me." He blinked at her a couple of times. She threw her hands up in aggravation. "About your match!"

"Oh. Yeah. She seems pretty cool. Claims she's not really girly. But that's ok, right?"

"What are you asking me for? I'm not the one who's going to be dating her!"

"I guess so." Oliver shrugged. "Suppose I should just take what I'm given, right?"

"Stop asking me for confirmation and start to get some self-esteem!" Miley shook her head at him.

Oliver shrugged this off too and changed the topic. "Sooo… Lilly seems pretty riveted with her match, doesn't she?"

"Yeah. She's glad she's found a guy where she can talk about 'everything and nothing' all at once."

"See that's the problem with my match… we don't talk about anything!"

"Have you told her?"

"Told her? I don't even know her!"

"So, do you want to meet her?"

"I suppose. What about your match?"

"All he does is talk about Jake Ryan's new movie and how great it is to be normal."

"Owch. Stalker?"

"I've gone from dating Jake Ryan to Jake Ryan's stalker. Oh no. Please don't make me say it."

"You already did."

"Oliver" Miley bit her lip; she should just come out and say it. "Don't you wish that we were already dating someone and didn't have to go through this stupid website?"

"It would make things a lot easier. Why?"

"Well… don't you wish that you were dating someone you already liked as a friend and had a lot in common with and that you already know you're compatible with?"

"I guess so. But then I wouldn't be able to try out my lines and be Smokin' Oken."

Miley wanted to tell him that he could try out his lines on her… but she didn't. She just left him to go catch up with Lilly again, even if she did have to hear about her wonderful match over and over again.

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**Time to make dates with their matches… which everyone seems to be happy about except ****Miley**** Find out why by pressing that button!**


	7. Blind Date Saturday

_A/N. I hope there's enough Lilly in this chapter to keep everyone happy. (But there can never be enough Jackson in a chapter)._

_Yes, I'm counting up all the pairing requests... and yes... all pairing requests are being played into the story already. You'll just have to keep telling me what you want until the end._

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**Blind Date Saturday**

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Jackson didn't care if he was going to have the night off or not, he was going to make a date for Saturday… and at Rico's so he could show off his date in front of Rico and claim victory right then and there. He turned on his computer and IMed his secret match, hoping he wasn't going to come off a little too overly-eager and have it explode in his face. 

'Hey cutie. You want to make a date for Saturday?'

'Do I ever!' came the fast response… and Jackson had thought HE was over-eager.

'Great. Do you know Rico's down by the beach?'

'That's the best place ever! The owner is such a babe.'

_The owner is such a baby_. Jackson snorted to himself. 'Yeah, whatever. You want to meet there?'

'Of course. See ya Saturday, sweetie.'

Jackson smiled to himself. He had a hot date for Saturday and he was about to rub it in Rico's face. Oh yeah… he was the man.

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"I'm thinking about asking to meet my match" Lilly told Miley as they walked through the halls of school. 

"You sure? That sounds kinda scary."

"I know, but I just want to find out if he is really the guy for me or if I should keep looking."

"Yeah, I think you better keep looking" Miley said bluntly.

"Why?"

"No reason" Miley squeaked, keeping her suspicions to herself. First of all, if Lilly found out her suspicions she'd be wondering why Miley kept it from her for so long and then Miley was afraid of letting it slip that she might have been just the smallest bit protective of Oliver… for her own reasons.

"You think I'm going to be single and alone forever, don't you?" Lilly asked pointedly, looking like she was on the verge of tears.

"Of course not! I just think there's plenty of fish in the sea. Why not explore that whole ocean out there!"

Lilly slumped, "yeah, like who?"

Miley saw her brother out of the corner of her eye, "like Jackson for example!"

Lilly gave her a weird look, one that said it was a horrible suggestion, Miley imagined her mouthing the word 'horrible' over and over to her, so much so she didn't realize when Lilly's lips actually started moving. "Annoying Jackson? Jackson who always hogs the TV watching sports? Jackson whose bedroom smells like something died in it? THAT Jackson?"

Miley knew it was a long shot. She wouldn't have suggested Jackson in a million years if she didn't feel in a corner about this whole situation. She put on an overly bright and overly fake grin, "Why not? You're single… he's single."

"You want me to date your brother?" Lilly was still looking at her like she'd grown an extra head.

Miley answered her under her breath so Lilly couldn't hear, "It'd be a whole lot better than dating Oliver, that's for sure."

Lilly moved away from the topic of Jackson pretty quickly. "Why don't you make a date with your online match as well? Then we can both put ourselves out there."

"Sure" Miley said, "Beats staying home on Saturday night because my two best friend's have blind dates."

"Oliver has a blind date too on Saturday?" Lilly questioned innocently.

Miley lowered her voice again, "Nope, but he's gonna" she said under her breath and walked with Lilly to the next class.

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**Will Lilly really go for a ride on the Ollie Trolley? Will Rico and Jackson realize they have feelings for each other at a candle-lit table at Ricos:snorts: Will Miley figure out why she's really worried over Lilly and Oliver's matches? Press that button for an automatic (well almost automatic) update.**


	8. There's a Fire in the Oken House

_A/N.__ The dates are coming up. But somehow I'm getting a hunch the Rico/Jackson date isn't going to last very long. Maybe you should check out my Rico/__Mikayla__ short __fic__ to see if we should give Rico a break and bring __Mikayla__ into the final chapter for him. (But it is always more fun watching the boy suffer)._

_Without further ado:_

**There's a Fire in the ****Oken**** House**

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"I mean it was a horrible suggestion. Horrible." Lilly spelt out for her best friend Oliver later. "Like titanic sinking scale horrible. I mean… Jackson!" She let out a sharp, high-pitched laugh that only lasted half a syllable. 

"So why would Miley do that?"

"I don't know. Just worried I guess. I think she's afraid my match is a dud." She air quoted around the word 'match' and Oliver didn't really get what for. He continued to listen, but watching out for any of the ladies passing through Rico's that might smell the fire from the Oken house. "But I don't get what she's so worried about. It's not like it's you or anything." She pushed him and let out a louder laugh this time, to which he joined in with until comprehension of what she'd said slapped him in the face.

"Hey!" He stopped laughing and narrowed his eyes at her. "I'll have you know that this dud" he air quoted on the word dud, partly to copy her, "would reject you before you even would have time to blink."

"Nah-uh. I would reject you first." She pushed him hard in the chest.

"I would reject you first" He pushed her back.

By the time Miley came back with her smoothie the two of them were in a full blown slapping war.

"Stop it Oliver" she grunted in between slaps.

"You stop it first".

"Sweet niblets. Can't I take you two anywhere?" Miley sighed sitting and sipping her smoothie.

Oliver stopped first and turned to Miley. "You nervous about meeting your date?"

"More nervous than anyone, but it'll be OK. If it doesn't work out maybe the guy I'm meant to be with is closer than you think."

Oliver took the smoothie out of her hands and had a sip. "I don't think so. I mean, the only way you're going to meet new guys is to get into different circles of people. Expand who you're interacting with."

"Oliver, have you been reading your mom's magazines again?"

Oliver didn't even get a chance to open his mouth before he received punches on both his arms. "Ow!"

* * *

'Hey, I've been thinking about you' Lilly started to type, grinning to herself.

'Really? Guess I really must be on fire.'

'Think you'll still have those flames burning on Saturday?'

'Why? What's Saturday?'

'Hopefully our first date.'

'Oh, cool.'

'How about you meet me down by the pier? 9 O'clock?'

'I think I can make it.'

'I'll be waiting.' Lilly signed off. There. She had done it. Now it was time to wait until Saturday and see what her mystery man was like in the flesh. She kept thinking about what Miley had said though… there was a big ocean out there, and who knew? If it didn't work out with her mystery man, maybe Jackson would still be available… but she'd have to stop him from doing anything gross like smelling his armpits in public, oh and not tell anyone. That would probably work too.

That reminded her. She sniffed her armpits quickly. Yep. _Still fresh._

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**Lackson**** or ****Loliver. ****Loliver**** or ****Lackson.**** That is the question. ****The question that is still yet to be answered.**** So press that button for more!**


	9. What a Guy Wants

_Complied votes: 85__ to 74 __Moliver/__Lackson__, which I've decided to compile together for convenience, is beating out __Loliver/__Jiley__ or etc.__ But it's not the end yet. Saturday night starts next chapter though, where all the action starts happening. But no matter what happens, as I've said… it __ain't__ over till it's over._

_Let's hear Jackson's love advice in:_

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**What a Guy Wants (Is Not Clothing from ****Selina's)**

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**

"Get out of my way and make way for Rrrrrrrrriiiico." He had just finished his shopping for tomorrow night's date and had no idea that pretending to be a girl was so hard! Maybe he didn't give Jackson enough credit sometimes, he considered, remembering all the stints where it was his right hand man and not him that had to do the dirty work. Oh how sweet victory would be when Jackson would be his helper monkey (well, not his real helper monkey) and he wouldn't even have to throw him a banana for a whole month.

Oliver raised his eyebrows at his dramatic entrance. "Is he waiting for a fanfare or something?"

Jackson shrugged and struggled to catch a glimpse at the bags Rico had in his hands. "You shop at Selina's? Fashion for the vertically challenged _woman?_"

"What makes you think they're mine? Maybe I was shopping for someone else."

"If you're going to lie at least come up with something feasible. I mean, com'on. Nobody is going to believe that you would do _anythin_g for anybody else." Oliver said wisely.

"So are you dressing up for a hot date?" Jackson was a little more than interested and hoped it wasn't tonight, one day before his date.

"As a matter of fact, I have one on Saturday. Get ready to cry, worker."

"I won't have to be crying, because I have a hot date on Saturday too. Right here, so you will be present when I wipe your face with the floor."

"Unless my date gets here before yours."

"You'd better hope she does" he drawled, "cause I'm starting to smell a winner."

Oliver leaned over the counter and smelt him. "Is that what a winner is supposed to smell like?" He waved a hand in front of his nose, "if so, remind me never to become one."

"I don't think you ever have to worry about that, Oliver." Jackson answered him smirking.

"Lilly and I both have dates on Saturday too."

"With each other?" Jackson sounded surprised.

Rico batted his eyelashes and put his hand to his chest. "Awww. Two chuckleheads on a date together."

"No way!" Oliver was quick to set them straight. "Dates from the website."

Jackson looked at him for a long while. "You and Lilly" He shook his head "Sorry, I just don't see it."

"Doesn't matter. I'm going out with someone better than Lilly. This girl even thinks my lines about how hot I am are funny."

"That's pretty much what every guy wants isn't it? Someone who you don't have to work to impress. That likes what you say anyway. Even though nothing is as bad as your 'Smokin' Oken' lines."

Each of the boys breathed a sigh, seemingly in deep thought about this. Oliver finally broke the silence. "Wow. That's pretty serious Jackson."

"I'm a serious guy."

"Oh please" Rico said.

"Ok, I'm not a serious guy. But I do want someone who'll like me for me, you know? That doesn't care that I'm not a serious guy." He spotted some girls walking past Rico's who caught the end of what he was saying and yelled out at them, "Is that too much to ask?"

They turned around and walked speedily away in the other direction.

"I'm going to try some of this… I mean, put this away. Now get back to work and stop scaring my customers" Rico ordered Jackson and left the two boys alone.

"Can I get a free hot dog?" Oliver whispered to Jackson when he left. Jackson reached out a quick-moving hand and pushed him off his stool.

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**Next chapter: Getting ready for their dates. And who really is the sexy newcomer ****Ricina****? Review and beat your computer monitor several times for a non-malfunctioning automatic update this time.**

**All reviews go towards to worthy cause of rebuilding Robbie Ray's ****lost ****music career.**** Go ahead and have your say (you have to when it's for a good cause).**

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	10. Normal Dating and the Sexy Ricina

_A/N.__Loliver__ has made a serious comeback. And is most likely now in the lead__… For all those who whacked their computers – your hitting has paid off and here's your chapter. The downside… it's a bridging chapter__ (but really, there is no downside):_

* * *

**'Normal' Dating and the Sexy ****Ricina**

* * *

"I'm so excited!" Lilly said, looking through Hannah's wardrobe. "I just need to know what to wear!"

Miley signed into her dating profile, and went to her match about Saturday… which (oops!) was today.

'I know its late notice, but I was really hoping we'd meet tonight.'

She got a response mere minutes later. 'Sure thing. Let's meet somewhere normal.'

'Normal? What? Like the mall?'

'Great! The mall sounds great!'

"Well, it's done" Miley turned back to Lilly, who was already holding several outfits up to herself. "Those aren't yours y'know."

"But a good friend would let me borrow them" Lilly hinted ever so subtly.

"But a good friend wouldn't let you wear pink with that jacket" Miley said as she watched Lilly admire herself in her mirror and got up to take the clothing away from her.

* * *

**Later:**

Rico admired himself in his full length mirror at the back of Rico's. Could anyone really tell it was him? Rico turned around again admiring himself once again.

"It's time for Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiicina to make an appearance." He winked at himself.

His date would think she was the prettiest girl on the beach. This plan was flawless.

* * *

**Still Later:**

"OK. Breath check."

Miley and Lilly breathed on each other.

"Tooth gunk check"

They grit their teeth and inspected each other.

"Great. We're ready to meet out dates."

"Ready as we'll ever be." Lilly sounded nervous. "I think I really like this guy so far."

"I'm glad for you" Miley replied. She really was glad. She just hoped her own date could help her forget about the whole thing. She went downstairs and asked if "daddy" (said with the extra batting of eyelashes) could drive her to the mall.

**

* * *

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**What happens when ****Miley**** meets her date? Does Jackson have enough time to run away before ****Ricina**** flaunts her stuff? All these questions and more up next!**

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	11. In Luv With Himself Movie Star Say WHAT?

_A/N. Keep requesting cause as I said, it's not over till Bucky Kentucky sings. And it's now pretty much tied up with all pairings (but Loliver is still slightly leading). _

_This is a longer chapter, and most are longer from here on out. Moliver haters might want to cover their eyes for part of this chapter. Moliver lovers might want to squeal for the as yet one-sided Moliver. And Jiley fans might want to slap some sense into Miley. Slapping, squealing or squinting at the horror can be done via a tasteful review.

* * *

_

**In Love With Himself Movie Star Say WHAT?**

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* * *

**

Miley didn't have to wait long by herself at the taco bar, until someone with black hair and huge sunglasses came towards her. She wasn't dumb though, as soon as he lowered his glasses a fraction of an amount Miley knew who it was… and she wasn't happy about it.

"Jake? What are you doing here?"

He shot her a dazzling smile. "I'm your iDate match Miley."

"In-love-with-himself Movie Star say what?"

"I've thought about it, Miley… everything you said and I'm normal now. It's even my username. NormalGuy120."

"Jake? Did you set this whole thing up to be my anonymous match? Because if you did, that's a new low… even for you." Miley crossed her arms.

"Well, I might have nudged it a little in my favor. It's not my fault. You were the one with the username TennesseeMiles, I mean, you may as well have changed it to 'Miley Stewart who is secretly Hannah Montana'" Jake said. "What's the big deal?"

"Because that is the last thing that's normal! Why do I keep hoping that you'll change when you'll _never _change!" Miley started to walk away from him.

Jake rushed in front of her. "What do I have to do to make you mine?"

"It's over Jake. I know I've said that like… twenty times already… but this time it really is. I want a normal guy." _I want Oliver. _She added in her mind.

"But I'm normal."

Miley shook her head. "A REAL normal guy. You know, one that is happy going to school without special treatment. One that you can just be yourself around. One that is always there to listen to you and not running off to the next big project. One that nods like a chicken and falls over things. One that looks like an ugly Natalie Portman with chocolate cake in his mouth. One that has one nostril bigger than the other and is OK with that. One that would be comfortable having bearie-boo sitting beside us on a date."

Jake was about to say something but when he opened his mouth he just had a weird look on his face, whether he should question bearie-boo first, the nostrils or the Natalie Portman thing. "Ok-ay. That's a little specific."

"I'm sorry Jake, that's just not you."

"Yeah, my nostrils are pretty perfect."

She was unrelenting. "Maybe I don't want perfect."

"I thought this was a real chance to get to know one another, online, you know…"

"Online? All we did was talk about you. It was the same as always Jake."

"But meeting online is normal, right?"

"Maybe when you're not Jake Ryan," Miley leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "I love you Jake. You're just not that guy."

She walked away, a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Miley wasn't sure right now what she wanted. Jake was special… and Oliver was_… Oliver_.

* * *

Jackson was falling asleep on the counter at Rico's. If Rico came striding by with his date any moment soon it would be all over and he would have to work for free. 

Someone did come out from the back of Rico's though… Jackson squinted to get a better look. It looked like a short scary-looking drag queen…

_Hey, what do you know?_ Jackson thought. _It is a short, scary looking drag-queen._

"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRicina is waiting for her date." Rico said dramatically, shaking his long black wig around his shoulders.

Jackson fell off his stool laughing.

* * *

Lilly sat on the pier when she heard footsteps approaching. Soon as she turned around and saw who it was she was about ready to push her intruder into the ocean below. 

"Get out of here you donut! I'm supposed to be meeting my match here!"

"Well so am I!" He said.

"Fine. Sit over there and when my date comes – we don't know each other" Lilly ordered, and Oliver went to sit on the other side of the pier.

* * *

**Jackson won't be laughing so hard when he finds out who 'Ricina's' date is****… and how will Oliver and Lilly take the news? Review to find out.**

* * *


	12. Oh Say It Ain't So

_A/N. Ahhh yes. The chapter with the title from a Weezer song that I didn't even realize was until later. Weezer. That is so my generation. Before I go off reminicing, I must add that Loliver has STORMED ahead. So where's my Moliver/Lackson peeps? You need 14 or so votes to even it up! Regardless. Any serious action will be a couple of chapters from now to appease y'all._

_But until then:_

**

* * *

**

**Oh, Say it Ain't So**

* * *

Hours went by and Lilly hung her legs over the side of the pier. Oliver was looking at his watch. He rubbed the back of his neck and took a few steps towards her.

"_loverofallthings_?"

Lilly turned to him. "Huh?"

"Your screen-name? Was it 'loverofallthings'?"

He face sunk as she looked up at him with a slightly green tint starting to color her cheeks. She stood up and faced him. "Hannah Montana's BFF? You?"

Oliver blushed and nodded.

Lilly blinked a couple of times trying to comprehend what was happening to her.

She took a step backwards, "_you're_ Hannah's BFF?"

"Yeah, and you are too." He said trying to make light of the situation.

Lilly opened up her mouth and started screaming, Oliver covered his ears and she did the next best thing she could think of… and ran.

* * *

Jackson and Ricina kept shooting each other evil stares as they waited for their dates to arrive. Just one second was all it was going to take. Jackson had already used up an entire dispenser of napkins rolling them into balls and throwing them Rico… um… Ricina's way when she wasn't looking. 

"OK. This isn't funny anymore" Ricina said. "Where's your date? I had to sit through calling some guy 'sweetie' and 'sweet cakes' just to win this bet. So if you're faking and don't really have a date…." She… uhhh… he held up a puny fist to him.

It was like a flood of comprehension of the situation had knocked Jackson off of his seat like a tidal wave. He actually had to get up and re-gather himself, the color draining from his face. "Wait… irule4eva'… was YOU?"

"The one and only baby" Ricina said proudly, puffing out his… uhhh... her chest. He took a glance at Jackson, his face dropping as he saw Jackson clutch his stomach and feign vomiting. "You were 'StudlySpiderman'?"

Jackson looked at Ricina's full pouty lips and started to scream, running from Rico's.

Rico took off his wig and threw it on the ground. "I got all dressed up for _you_!" he called after his employee.

* * *

**How on earth Rico could think 'Studly Spiderman' was a girl, I'll never know. But Rico does have issues. I have a feeling that Ricina will return soon enough. Mwhahahahahahhahahahahahaha. And Jackson better watch out!**


	13. If My Girlfriend's Lilly

_A/N. Methinks Loliver is still in the lead (only just), but I don't hear Bucky Kentucky even entering the building yet, so your choice is still to be registered as many times as you want it to._

_Well... on with it:_

* * *

**If My Girlfriend's Lilly... (It'd Be A Lot Better Than Rico)**

* * *

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Yelled Jackson running from Rico's down onto the beach.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Screamed Lilly and ran from the pier down to the beach as fast as her legs could carry her.

The two of them kept running and running until they collided with each other and were thrown backwards from the impact.

Lilly looked in front of her. It was Jackson. She was glad to have a familiar face to talk to. So was he.

"I just had a blind date with Rico"

"I just had a blind date with Oliver" they said at the same time.

"Ewwwww!" They said simultaneously again and started to brush themselves down from the imaginary 'cooties' almost frantically and then turned to each other and started to brush down the other person.

It was the moment Jackson realized he was brushing down her chest that he stopped, his hands remaining in an awkward position until he scored an annoyed look from her and he took his hands back.

Lilly registered what was happening at to them last, then collapsed back on the sand and began laughing. "Your online match was Rico?"

"Actually, I think he now prefers to be known by Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrricina."

Lilly feigned a shudder. "That's better than Oliver! I know we're best friends and everything but did the computer really have to call us compatible?! It didn't know us at all!"

"Once again proving that man is better than machine" Jackson replied and then flexed his muscles slightly.

"That's the last time I leave my love life in the hands of anything mechanical" Lilly huffed.

"Me too" Jackson said, feeling like he had well and truly learnt his lesson this time, he sat on the sand beside her.

"I'm just going to have to be alone forever!" Lilly frowned; just then thinking of what Miley said when she suggested him as another fish in the sea.

Jackson started playing with the sand. "Aw, com'on Lilly. You're not going to be alone forever. Maybe the rest of this week… or this month… or this year… But surely not forever."

"Yeah, thanks" she said sarcastically. "So what was your name?"

"Huh?"

"Your screen name for the iDate site? What was it?"

"_StudlySpiderman_" He answered proudly.

She laughed. "Mine was _loverofallthings_."

"Sounds about right. You don't discriminate." He grinned. "So does lover of all things love StudlySpiderman too?"

"Aw, of course I love ya Jackson! But it's not really lover of ALL things. Lover of most things… within reason." She added, thinking of Oliver.

"Knew it. I'm irresistible." He wiggled his eyebrows and she realized he was another good point to how 'within reason' should be added after her screen name.

Lilly laughed. "So now we have a night of dateless-ness to get used too."

But Jackson wasn't listening, he scratched absently at his pants. "I think I have sand down my pants. It's really itchy."

Lilly pulled open the waistband of his pants and put a whole handful of sand down there before he got a chance to stop her. He tackled her as she tried to make a getaway.

"Still itchy?"

"I'm pretty sure we have a remedy for it at home." Jackson said, his dad would always think of something. He got up and started moving, then turned around to look at her in the sand. "You coming?"

She got up and started following him. "Sure, what else was I going to do? Go back to my date with Oliver? No thank you very much." Lilly cart wheeled along the sand, throwing in the occasional back flip. Jackson copied her, falling on his face several times. She went to go help him up. "So what was your answer for your favorite cat?"

"Siamese"

"Same. Favorite beverage?"

"Whatever I can get."

"Same. Ambitions?"

"Take over the world."

"And you wonder why you got a match with Rico? They probably thought you'd be the perfect match to scheme world domination together" she shook her head and laughed which was what she seemed to be doing a lot of since she recovered from the shock of iDating her best friend.

"Fine then, spit on my dreams. What did you put?"

"Skateboarding championship winner."

"High ambitions." She could hear the sarcasm under his southern twang.

"Couldn't get higher than taking over the world… Don't you have any real ambitions?"

"I don't know. How easy is it to have reachable ambitions when your sister's Hannah Montana and your father is Bobbie Ray Stewart?"

"He did have his own doll" Lilly mused.

"Yeah, and what have I got?"

"A pogo-stick record."

"So?"

"People that love you. A job. A good sense of humor." She started listing on her fingers.

"I guess."

"And there's always your girlfriend Ricina."

Jackson pretended to be insulted, "Ow. That hurts. I'd better go and tell your boyfriend Oliver that you're not playing nicely."

She picked up a handful of sand and threw it at him. They had a sand fight until they finally got back to the house in the dark. Jackson looked over at Lilly as they approached and something struck him. Something he was talking earlier with Oliver and Rico about. That the perfect girl was someone who accepted you for you and _possibly _was someone that was right under your nose the entire time.

Lilly was wearing a blue green dress that she probably stole out of Hannah's wardrobe, but it looked good on her and Jackson noticed that she was a just a girl after all, the type of girl that he would actually chase after… well he should, if he had half a brain which Miley joked often that he didn't. Well, now he was going to prove his little sister wrong. He did have half a brain to notice when someone was right for him (a lot more of a brain then some stupid compatibility website… that was for sure) and he was going to go for it.

* * *

**Will the two Stewarts get their hearts crushed by the tidal wave that is Loliver? Will Jackson get a remedy for his itchy butt? All this and more up next.**

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	14. An Interlude

_A/N. Since I happen to be a bit of a fan of the ol' fluff myself, I got a little carried away with the last two chapters. But there's still much more of this crazy night and what follows to be had in 'If My Girlfriend's Rico There's Gonna Be Trouble'._

_Those who are missing the Rickson, will not miss out._

_Here's the interlude of the way it COULD have gone (but didn't):_

* * *

**Alternate ending to Oh, Say it Ain't So.**

Hours went by and Lilly hung her legs over the side of the pier. Oliver was looking at his watch. He rubbed the back of his neck and took a few steps towards her.

"_loverofallthings_?"

Lilly turned to him. "Huh?"

"Your screen-name? Was it 'loverofallthings'?"

He face sunk as she looked up at him with a slightly green tint starting to color her cheeks. She stood up and faced him. "Hannah Montana's BFF? You?"

Oliver blushed and nodded.

Lilly blinked a couple of times trying to comprehend what was happening to her.

She took a step backwards, "you're Hannah's BFF?"

"Yeah, and you are too." He said trying to make light of the situation.

"Seriously? You?"

Oliver opened his arms nervously. "I guess so."

Lilly shook her head. "Weird."

"Yeah… you want to go get something to eat?"

"Why would we be matched? I mean, we have nothing in common!"

Oliver didn't quite agree, but he found an excuse that he hoped was true as much as she did. "Computer glitch, I guess."

"You and me?" She stared at him seriously for a moment, they were both contemplating it.

"Nah" They both said shaking their heads and then going back to looking at each other with full detail… yet another contemplation going through their minds.

"Nah" they repeated together and went back to looking at each other with their minds reeling.

Oliver took a step towards her. She took a step forward as well.

"N…" she began, but was cut off by him dipping his head down to hers and brushing his lips gently against hers.

"Nah" they both said, leaning in to kiss each other again.

* * *

**Alternate ending to If My Girlfriend's Lilly (it'd be Better than Rico)**

_(J__ust to note, I originally had Lilly bringing up Miley's grand idea for Jackson as Lilly's other dating options to Jackson while he was playing with the sand down his pants in the last chapter, but due to awkwardness that might follow, it was omitted)._

They walked along in silence for a moment before Jackson spoke. "It was Miley's idea?"

"Well… offhand." Lilly said, eyeing him cautiously.

"It is a step up from Rico… and Hannah too, I guess. Dang. I haven't had the best streak lately."

"Thanks" she looked insulted.

Jackson leaned over, carefully pushing his lips on to hers. A second later he sprung back and whacked his hand on his head. "Yah! I can't get Rico out of my mind! Oh… he will pay!"

"Ewww. You were thinking of Rico when you were kissing me?"

"I know. It's disturbing. You should probably go back and be with Oliver, who isn't so disturbed."

Lilly grabbed him and pressed her lips against his this time, and he began kissing her back, understanding this time that it wasn't just the same playing around or acting that he and his sister's friends usually took part in. "You think someone that refers to himself as the Ollie Trolley isn't disturbed?" she said, getting her breath back.

"You're not just looking for an invite to my next party are you?" Jackson asked, out of breath too from when they broke away. "Because I've got to say, it's working."

"No way. I couldn't go to a party that Miley wasn't invited to" Lilly lied. "So when is this party?"

"The next time my dad writes a big song."

"Sounds good" Lilly said, kissing him again. "I'll just tell Miley I've got a… thing…" she finished lamely. OK, so she couldn't lie to save herself.

"Don't worry. My girlfriend has to make an appearance. That's how these things work. Miles will understand" he grinned mischievously.

"So you want to tell her?"

"Sure? Why not? I'm game." Jackson slung his arm around her and they started to walk back to the Stewart house.

"I guess after I've dated Oliver I shouldn't be afraid of anything" Lilly added.

They both laughed and walked back in the dark, thinking that tonight was certainly a strange twist of events… and to think! She was set up with Oliver just a moment ago and now she was dating Jackson! There was nothing wrong with it though. Lilly couldn't think of a better match that she could make at such short notice by herself. See! What could a computer do that she couldn't?

* * *

**Oh yes, all aboard the fluff train and onto the next chapter carried on from the end of 'If My Girlfriend's Lilly'. **

**You know what to do… the quicker you press that little button and tell me what you think, the quicker a happy update pops up on your screen.**

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	15. When You Wish You Were The Match

_A/N. Well today I've been listening to My Girl's Ex-Boyfriend by Relient K on repeat and wondering why nobody on the web has made a Jiley/Moliver vid to it. And then decided to do one myself if the episodes will do me the pleasure of downloading._

_Anyways... votes are STILL being counted but based on the outcome so far, I'm planning a shocker of an ending - where everything may not be as it seems. Oh, and Rico will get some loving too... but it may not be from who we expect (i.e. Jackson, although it could... just could... be from another Stewart)._

_Yay for Rico love! And yay for updates! And yay for those who got on board the fluff train!_

_Yes. This chapter continues from the chapter 'If My Girlfriend's Lilly'. The last chapter was just a bit of fun for me to write some premature fluff for the HM lover's soul. So where we left off was Lilly and Jackson running away from their dates and running into one another (quite literally)._

_Here's what happens next:_

* * *

**When You Wish You Were The Match**

* * *

"How was Lilly?" Miley asked as she sat by a dejected looking Oliver at Rico's.

"You knew?"

"I had a hunch."

"Bet your date was better than mine." Oliver said, remembering the horror when they realized they were each others dates and Lilly ran away screaming – _that was soooo mature._

"Well, don't bet on it. It was Jake."

He looked at her in disbelief. "_Jake_ Jake?"

"Yes, Jake Jake. How many Jakes do we know? Sweet niblets boy, you're slow."

"How did Jake end up as your match?"

"He actually rigged the website. He got them to send all the information, and I guess whatever Jake Ryan wants, Jake Ryan gets."

"Except you."

Miley pursed her lips. "Except me."

"What do you want to do now?" Oliver asked.

"Well, next time I want to date someone – I'd rather just do it myself."

"And now I have Lilly awkwardness to deal with."

"It won't be too awkward. I'm sure one day you'll both look back at this and laugh."

"One day a long time from now."

Miley smiled and thought of something that would make him feel better. "I'd love to hear some of those Smokin' Oken lines. I'm sure if they were good enough to pick up Lilly, that they're good enough to work on any girl."

Oliver shook his head, "Nah. You'd just laugh at me."

"You don't know that."

"I wish it were you." Oliver said suddenly.

"Perfect match with Lilly Truscott say what?"

"I wish it were you that was my perfect date on the site. At least you wouldn't have run away screaming."

Miley giggled. "Lilly ran away screaming?"

Oliver looked hurt. "Yeah, really funny" he said sarcastically.

Miley moved closer to him and put a hand on his arm. "I wish you were my match too."

"Seriously?" Oliver turned to him, wondering if she was just pitying him.

"I'm sure about it." She said, playing with the fabric of his shirt. "Actually, let's pretend that I was. What would we do?"

"Well… we wouldn't stay at Rico's all night, that's for sure." Oliver was brightening up. "Feel like a movie? And then we could go back to the pier and look at the ocean?"

"Sounds perfect" Miley said dreamily. Now that's what she called a perfect date with her best friend! Well, if she wasn't just cleaning up Lilly's mess... which was exactly what she was doing.

Oliver took her hand. "So are you ready to go?"

Miley squeezed his hand. "I'm ready for the night of my life, Hannah Montana's BFF."

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**Do I sense some jealousy coming on in the next chapter? **

**If you're still Loliver crazy, or think Moliver is the one... you'd better press that button and tell me about it before Miley and Oliver/Lilly and Oliver end up living happily ever after and leave Rico and Jackson to cry (not to mention the readers that miss out on their OTP). **

**"Waaaaahhh!"**


	16. The Boy is Mine

_A/N. Title from another song that happily someone did use in a HM vid. And I made my first HM vid! Yay! 201easyboy at youtube. Check it out._

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**The Boy Is Mine**

_

* * *

_

Jackson and Lilly could make out two figures when they got to the Stewart front porch. It was Miley and Oliver talking in hushed tones.

They leant in towards each other and Lilly stormed up to them.

"Hey guys, what's up?" She said rocking on her feet and trying to stop things from happening that really shouldn't be happening. Jackson grunted something and went in the house.

"Nothing much. Just hanging out." Miley responded.

"With my date?"

"That you ran away screaming from."

"With my date?" Lilly continued in her incredulous voice, and gripped Oliver by his arm, staring Miley down.

"That you ran away screaming from" Miley gripped Oliver and started to pull back on him.

"But he was my date. " Another tug left.

"And you ran away from him." Another tug right.

"Com'on Oliver. We don't need this." Lilly started to pull him away.

"Lilly!" Oliver whined.

"Come on Oliver" He wasn't budging, but she was persistent.

"I want to stay!"

"Fine… but you're a terrible date."

"Says the girl who runs away from me screaming."

Lilly mimicked him and then went in the house slamming the door behind her.

"Now where were we?" Oliver went back to Miley smiling suggestively. "I believe we had a date to end."

"I'm sorry Oliver. This date has to wait. Lilly calls."

"Figures." Oliver said under his breath. Miley looked regretful as she went inside after Lilly.

* * *

**Poor Oliver. He is really bad with the ladies. Press that button (to change his luck)!**


	17. That's Mah Boy

_A/N. Those that are afraid of the 'M' word (Moliver) might get a break here... but things are gonna be changing soon. Remember no matter how the pairings SEEM to be going - it's not over till ya hear that singing. And there will be a big surprise in store._

_Since no story is complete without some Robbie Ray/Jackson interaction, here's the next part:_

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* * *

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**That's Mah Boy**

* * *

"You are so attractive right now." Lilly said as Jackson was rubbing himself down with lotion, his hands down his pants. 

"I don't want it to chaff."

Lilly sat down on the couch as Robbie Ray came down, and Miley came inside.

"Hey bud. Have a good date?" Miley's father greeted her. Not Lilly who was sitting with her arms crossed on the couch, or Jackson who was rubbing lotion on the parts that were down his pants, the parts that Miley really didn't want to think about… EVER.

"It wasn't a date" Miley answered looking at Lilly and biting her lip.

"It's got to be better than dating Rico" Robbie Ray said.

Jackson had a sour look on his face. "Hey dad. That's not funny."

"You have to admit it is kind of funny." Everyone that wasn't Jackson in the room shared a chuckle.

Miley pulled Lilly up to her room. "Anyway, we gotta go dad. Girl stuff."

Jackson and Robbie Ray looked at each other. But the two girls were already half way up the stairs.

"Ya know, uhhh… dad?" Jackson started.

"This isn't about the Rico comment is it?" Robbie Ray jested, "Because I thought it was rightly deserved. You keep on dating the wrong people son… Rico… your sister…"

"Well, you're close; what I wanted to ask you about is kinda on the same topic." Jackson rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I was talking with the guys about how the perfect girl would just take you as you are and…"

"You better not be suggesting dating Mamaw this time."

"Oh ha ha, Dad."

"Sorry. No more jokes about your horrible dating choices. I promise." He held up his hand in a sign of surrender.

"And there's someone I know that would be perfect…"

His father cut him off, "And you don't know how to ask your baby sister about it?"

Jackson looked amazed as he stared at his father. "How do you do that?"

"Son," He threw his arm around him, "I can only guess that we're talking about Lilly, since she's the only girl who's around here all the time that you're not related to… and Lilly's like my own daughter, I know her so well, which would make her like your sister and we all know…"

Jackson blushed and his eyes went straight to the ground, "Fine, fine! I got it dad. I'll look for chicks outside of my own living room."

"That's not what I'm saying Jackson. I'm just saying that it's your baby sister's turf, and you better make dang sure you have a permit before you start digging."

This metaphor got Jackson's eyebrows raised. "And how exactly am I supposed to take that?"

"In the best way possible" his father advised giving him a warning look against thinking any 'not in my household, bud' type of thoughts. "Lilly's a great girl. A little ditzy. But all in all a great girl."

"And me?"

Robbie Ray ruffled the hair on his head, "Well, you're mah boy."

"Thanks dad." Jackson was glad his father was on his side, even if he would get slapped by both Miley and Lilly for suggesting digging on any "turf" later.

* * *

**Oh, Jackson. Who wouldn't want to ruffle that hair? Com'on! Seriously! He has nice hair...**

**And will Jackson get slapped by Miley first or by Lilly? Or will Ricina's reappearance be the reason for the slapping? **

**All this and more up as soon as you press that button and tell me you want more!!!**


	18. Boring, Predictable Molilly

_A/N. Never fear! The next chapter is here! (Somebody has been watching Underdog lately... oh, wait... it's me). Do you think that someone is too obsessed with Hannah Montana and needs help if they have sexy dreams about Rico?_

_I wish I were joking. But I'm not. _

_Anyways, the Moliver vs Loliver votes have pretty much evened out. And the last chapter will go to the winner (and I have a hunch already on who that is). But get voting, because things could either keep going the way they're going (the 'M' word direction) OR a shock ending could be just around the corner... and you know you just can't wait to see the outcome._

_So before I have more dreams of Rico, here we go:_

* * *

**Boring, Predictable Molilly**

* * *

"What?" Lilly squeaked as Miley flung her into her bedroom.

"You know what."

"It was weird alright!" Lilly lay back on Miley's bed. "I mean, it's Oliver! He's icky!"

Miley sighed and lay beside her. "He's not that bad."

"Well… you know when we held hands over that box of crayons? That wasn't the last time I thought of it. But I just figured there were enough donuts in the world to meet first." Lilly turned on her side to face Miley who turned on her side too. Lilly screwed up her nose. "And he's icky!"

Miley laughed at her, she turned back on her side because what she was going to say she really couldn't say with Lilly watching her. "We had a really nice time tonight."

"Yeah, but you were just hanging out."

"Well, not really… because my date was Jake, I took your date with Oliver." Miley confessed.

Lilly squealed. "Your date was Jake? He's so cute!"

"In a creepy stalker ex-boyfriend way, sure." Miley turned back towards Lilly and their eyes met. "I just feel bad about this. I had a great time with Oliver and you didn't up dating anyone tonight."

"It's alright. I don't resent you for leaving me to hang out with your brother. Honestly." Her voice conveyed anything but honesty though.

Miley groaned. "Now I really feel bad!"

"Well you should missy. I got all made up and it was just for Oliver."

"And Jackson."

Lilly screwed up her nose again "And Jackson." It was her turn to roll onto her back. "I'm going to be alone forever!" she whined.

"Lilly. You would never be alone forever. You're independent and you don't need anyone. Now repeat it with me."

"I'm independent and I don't need anyone." She stretched and got up off the bed. "You really had a good date with Oliver?"

"I actually wished that he was my match." Miley laughed, but this time at herself, "silly huh? I mean, what would I want that donut for? I never wanted him before."

"Yeah, but he's the one, besides me of course, that's been with you through living out the high life… and then even when you're down low and nobody else likes you. Oliver's always been there. I think there comes a time in one's life when they need the boring and predictable, instead of the rich, unpredictable, crazy life of Hannah Montana."

"Hey, I like that rich, unpredictable, crazy life of Hannah Montana." Miley frowned, "but I also like the boring, predictability of Miley and Oliver."

"And don't forget Lilly."

Miley shook her head. "Never. Lilly's the main part." Lilly smiled at her. "I just don't want ya on our dates."

"Fine… and I don't want details." Lilly struggled to stay resolved to this. "Ok, I do." She said, looking at her friend hopefully.

"Well buckle in, because this is going to be a long night." Miley answered getting ready to tell Lilly everything, from the way his eyes sparkled when he looked at her, to ever last dumb joke that Oliver made over dinner.

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**I'm sensing a change... and a slapping... but never fear, which pairing-fans will cheer?**

**Will Lilly realize there are no other donuts like her donut? Or will she let Miley take the man... (again!)**


	19. Git Your Thieving Hands off My Butt

_A/N. This is quite a short chapter, so I thought I'd put it up earlier. Those that have reviewed the last chapter might have recieved replies with secrets about the next few chapters... but keep voting, cause you never know what can change!_

* * *

**Git Your Thieving Hands off My Butt... Er, Cream.**

* * *

Lilly went outside the porch to get some air. She liked Oliver enough but hearing about him for almost an hour was starting to make her nauseous, especially when she knew that Oliver had no idea his friend was crushing on him like this (she wasn't even sure that Miley was admitting it yet… well, not in so many words).

She picked up the bottle of lotion that Jackson was rubbing his butt with earlier and chuckled to herself. He was lots of fun. She wondered what would have happened if Jackson was on that pier instead of Oliver.

She didn't think she would have run. She would have found more humor in the situation. Her being scared wiped all the irony away from her match with Oliver. She was sure they would have gone on a date anyway… and would have had awkward conversations to cover the weirdness of going on a date with your best friend's brother and lots of laughs about times with the crazy Stewart family.

Then they would have gone back to life as usual and she wouldn't think about Jackson like that again… _would she?_

"Hey git you're thieving hands off my butt cream." A voice came from behind her.

She spun around and handed over the cream looking disgusted. "Yeah, it's all yours."

"Thank you" Jackson replied dramatically and sniffed the bottle. Normally this would be the time where he'd go back up to his room and do whatever he was previously doing… but not this time. "So, eh… Lilly?"

"Yep?"

"Sorry about your night tonight."

"Yeah, like Oliver hadn't already ruined it for me."

"I've got an idea. Meet me down here in an hour."

"Ok…ay?"

Jackson turned on his heel and bolted up the stairs.

"Weird boy" Lilly said and looked out to the moon shimmering over the sea and sighed. It sure would be nice to be crushing over someone the way Miley was about Oliver.

* * *

"Hey Miley, your weird brother wants me downstairs in an hour." Lilly told Miley when she got back upstairs.

"Great. Then we've got another hour of me finishing talking about Oliver."

"Oh man!" Lilly slumped back on the bed and Miley picked up where she left off.

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**Rico coming up in 5... 4... 3... 2...**


	20. Jackson Stewart, Ladies Man

_A/N. This idea came partly from the episode where Jackson dresses up like the Godfather. And I always wanted to write Rilly. If you want to see some of my other odd coupling Mayhem - check out my other HM fics._

* * *

**Jackson Stewart, Ladies Man.**

_

* * *

_

_Jackson Stewart, __Casanova__. Or you can call me Don Juan._ _Ohhhhh yeah… this was going to work._

Jackson didn't know why but he couldn't get around to doing anything, unless he was wearing a costume of some sort. Most days were Halloween as far as Jackson was concerned.

This was the perfect excuse for another dress up.

He was going to compensate for a wasted night of waiting for his Ricina date. He went downstairs and made a dramatic entrance. Throwing open the door and sweeping Lilly up into his arms, frills on his unbuttoned shirt and a rose between his teeth.

"Smooth moves, Casanova."

Jackson dropped Lilly on the ground as he heard the familiar voice of the little evil munchkin that had already ruined his night.

"Ow!" Lilly got up, rubbing her backside.

Jackson took the rose from between his teeth and handed her his butt cream, then turned to Rico. "Don't you have some children to take candy from?"

"I've already taken my share of candy tonight" Rico said, leaving a pause for his: "Mwahahahahahahahaha."

"So you're here to ruin the rest of my night?"

"I might have been here to tell you that you got just as raw a deal as I did. I didn't expect my online hottie, to be an online nottie."

"Hey, I'm a hottie. Just ask Lilly."

Rico looked at her pointedly and Lilly rolled her eyes as she struggled with the cap of the bottle Jackson handed her.

"Enough" Rico said sharply. "I'm here on Rrrrrrrrrricina's behalf." He blinked a couple of times, "a girl has needs you know?"

Jackson couldn't contain himself; he broke out into peals of laughter. "What you want my phone number now?"

Rico looked peeved. "You ran away from me like a little baby. Well no one deserts Rrrrrrrrrricina."

"What are you going to do? You lost the bet buddy."

"Ricina lost nothing."

Jackson crossed his arms. "Oh yeah, well I was your date. So you lost."

"Man, did he ever" Lilly said rubbing her backside and thinking that after being dropped so carelessly anyone who was Jackson's date would have to be a loser.

"Nobody won" Rico conceded, "but you are definitely not going to win tonight."

"Oh yeah? What are you going to do? Tell everyone that I stood you up? Tell your daddy that I'm a bad boyfriend?"

Rico grinned mischievously. "Nope. I'm gonna do this." He took Lilly in his arms so quickly that she only had enough time for a little "yelp" before he dipped her and pressed his mouth to hers.

He let her go and she fell back on her already aching backside, closing her eyes. "Ewwww".

"Oh yeah!" Rico said doing a little dance, "there's a new Casanova in town!"

"You conniving little…" started Jackson.

"…Evil munchkin" finished Lilly, getting back to her feet.

Rico was still in the middle of his pelvic thrusts.

Lilly rubbed her mouth with the back of her hand. Jackson moved in and rubbed her lips roughly with the palm of his hand too. She brushed him away.

"It's OK Jackson, I've got it."

"Nobody, and I says nobody, takes mah womens' away from me" Jackson said coming up with his chest puffed out and with that good ol' fashioned twang in his voice. Lilly glared at him. "I mean, uh… nobody kisses my sister's friends. Well… I don't really care who kisses Oliver. But… yeah…"

Lilly picked up Rico by the shirt. "Yeah, nobody kisses me and gets away with it."

Rico suddenly looked scared. "What are you going to do?"

Lilly and Jackson exchanged a look.

* * *

**What should they do with him? Review and tell me!**

**(Oh, and I'm still counting votes).**


	21. Ahem

* * *

**A/N:**

**Votes are now: 272 to Loliver and 243 to Moliver/Lackson - so it looks like we might have our winner.**

**I am encouraging y'all to go to youtube THIS INSTANT and check out my vids under the username - 201easyboy.**

**One I was inspired by this fic to make was "Girl Crazy" with various hilarity.**

**The end of this fic will not be like the end of the MV, though... as Rico will not be getting the girls (unless everyone feels sorry for poor Rico and tells me that's how they want it to end).**

**Will be counting up all the votes in TWO chapters and posting the conclusion then. Until then, the pairings that you THINK are happening, may not even be happening at all (insert twilight zone theme song here).**

**Thanks! **

**...What are you still doing reading this?!! 201EASYBOY at youtube!**


	22. Aches, Boils and the Jacksonator

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_A/N. Thanks to all those that suggested what should be done about the evil, scheming Rrrrico. Anniecakes who suggested hanging him fro__m a tree does win the prize, but as for the princess part… maybe we'll leave that for the sequel._

_Moliver/Lackson has caught itself up quite nicely enough and so the next two chapters are for you guys. Anything after that… will go to the winner and unless something dramatic happens to the voting in the next two chapters – we all know who that is._

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**Aches, Boils and the Jacksonator**

* * *

"And stay out!" Lilly yelled after Jackson had repositioned his exercise equipment to catapult in the direction of the neighbors palm trees and put extra weights on to send Rico flying – this time to a destination he couldn't be free of (and wouldn't enjoy so much). 

Jackson and Lilly both rubbed their palms together and then shook hands.

"Good job" they both said, returning sentiments.

"Now where was I?" Jackson asked. She placed the rose back between his teeth. He dipped her and took the rose out giving it back to her.

They lent into each other that their lips were nearly touching, eyes closed, when all of a sudden both sets of eyes shot open again.

"Ewwwww…" They both said at once and Jackson released Lilly who fell to the floor for the third time and then helped her up.

"You were thinking about Rico too?" She asked.

"Oh, I'm going to do nasty things to that little runt…"

"I'm still here" came a weak voice from a few feet away.

"Jackson?" Lilly turned to him seriously realizing how fun the moments with Jackson were tonight. "I think I actually would have liked it if you were my match."

He smiled. "Yeah, in a weird way, I think I would have liked it too. It had to be better than Rrrrrricina."

"Hey, I heard that" came the weak voice again, they ignored it.

"Or the Ollie Trolley." She rubbed her backside, "my butt is really hurting now."

"The lotion, milady" he bowed and presented it to her for a second time, "It'll cure all your aches and boils."

Lilly visibly winced at the mentioning of boils.

"Hey Lilly" he looked down at his costume, "since I'm all dressed up…"

"Sure. We can't let a good costume go to waste?" she said nervously, not quite knowing how she felt about her best friend's older brother yet. He wrapped his arms around her waist and leant in to kiss her again, their lips meeting this time and moving in time with one another's unlike the horrible incident earlier of Rico planting one on her. She was almost surprised that it wasn't actually too bad, once again unlike the horrible incident earlier of Rico planting one on her.

"Sorry your date sucked" he seemed just as nervous as her, as they broke apart and he reluctantly released her, this time with her standing upright.

"Yours too" she whispered.

"You know, I'm willing to be a back-up plan anytime you need me" Jackson added, "no need to book in advance. The Jacksonator works on call."

She giggled and Jackson hoped she was doing it because he was cute.

"And I just wanted to let ya know" Jackson continued, "that you don't have to be alone forever if you don't want to."

Lilly's heart started to beat faster at this. _How did he know just what to say?_Oh that was right.She told him. But it was still nice. "You didn't have to do this you know." Lilly said at last.

"Aw, I know. But I owed my little sister a favor. And helping out a friend of hers, is like helping her out."

"Why'd you owe Miley a favor?"

"Cause I was thinking of asking her something really big and I want to soften her up as much as possible first."

"What'd you have to ask her?" Lilly asked again – but hey! She was naturally curious.

"Well… there's a friend of hers that I think is really something special and…" Jackson didn't even get through the rest of that sentence before he heard something high pitched to his right.

"Eeeeeep!" Lilly almost did a little clap. "I mean… uhhhh… continue."

"And I wanted to make sure Miley would think me worthy enough to ask her out on a date… you know, just to see how things went."

"Well, you're gonna have to do something better than making one friend of hers feel better about herself" Lilly said seriously. "We could make some scones!"

"Hang on… we?"

"Well… I'll probably have to do some Miley softening up time too, if I tell her that I'm dating her brother." Lilly grinned at him.

He took her hand. "Yeah, you probably will" he said.

"Eeep!" She repeated and jumped up and down a little excitedly until he dropped her hand and she did a quick back flip, as she fell on her butt for what could have been the fifteenth time that night Lilly wondered if she wasn't matched with Jackson for a reason… she tried to ignore the rising guilt that maybe she hadn't given her _real _match a chance.

_Even Oliver deserved a shot, right?_She asked herself, the answer being the sounds of silence and the aching of her behind.

* * *

**Does Oliver deserve a shot? Does he really? Or does he deserve to be catapulted into the trees too? Only reviews will tell what the ending to 'If My Girlfriend's Rico…' will truly be.**


	23. Donuts and Scones

_A/N. Moliver/Lackson is making a comeback BUUUUTTTT reviews will be fully tallyed after the next two chapters. Three more chapters of the story left to go!_

_Without further ado:_

**

* * *

**

**Donuts and Scones**

* * *

The next day Miley found Lilly and Oliver talking at a table at Rico's.

"Never ever, ever, ever" Oliver was saying firmly when Miley joined them.

"Never what?" she asked.

"Never going on an internet dating site again."

"I don't know, I think it turned out pretty well" Lilly put in, as Jackson came by the table too before he started his shift.

"First I had my best friend humiliate me, and then I had my other best friend take me on a pity date and I still didn't get to meet any chicks!" Oliver complained loudly, seemingly to whoever would listen.

Jackson rubbed his chin, "Oh, you still want to meet some chicks, huh?" He asked him slyly.

"Well at least one would be nice."

"I've got one in mind for ya right now" Jackson said, going back behind Rico's.

"Was our pity date really that bad?" Miley had to ask her sulking best friend.

"No, but it was the principle of the thing."

"So what you're saying is that you would have felt better about the date if you were actually dating Miley?" Lilly stuck her big nose in it again.

"No that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm just saying the internet site turned out to be a dud."

"Not as much as a dud as you." Lilly replied.

"Oh, com'on. Like you didn't feel the chemistry when we were chatting online!"

"If I did I would never admit it. Ever. Period. To anyone."

Oliver turned to Miley, "yeah, she loves me."

"I know someone else that loves you too" Lilly said, brightening up.

Miley blushed, trying to throw him off the scent. "It's alright Oliver, she means all of us buds. We all love you... especially Jackson."

He didn't buy it though, "Who is it? Have either Amber or Ashley finally confessed their undying attraction to a particularly Smokin' guy in their classes?"

"Yeah, in your dreams." Lilly said, "No this is someone who _is closer than you think_."

Oliver spun around almost falling off his chair. "Where?"

Lilly got up and punched him, "you donut. Here" she spun his head around so he was looking directly at Miley.

"Uh, Lilly. That's just Miley."

Lilly put her face in front of his and gave him a look that said 'what did you think I meant, idiot?'

"Oh" Oliver breathed at last, very quietly.

Miley started banging her head on the table. She couldn't believe that Lilly would just embarrass her like that. Well, she could believe it, but it didn't mean that she liked it.

"So last night…" Oliver still looked confused.

"Wasn't a pity date. Yes." Miley answered the unfinished question.

"Aw, does somebody want to take a ride on the Ollie Trolley?" Oliver asked her mockingly.

"Not if you ever say that to me again." Miley replied just as sweetly and Oliver made a motion of zipping his lips.

"She rejected Jake for you, you donut. Show some respect" Lilly hit Oliver again.

"Ow!"

"Ola! Oliver!" Jackson was waving from where he was coming back from behind Rico's with a short friend.

Ricina puckered her lips at Oliver. "Rrrrrrrricina is back!"

"Now how about a kiss, Ollie baby?" Jackson mocked him puckering his own lips at him and pushed Ricina towards him.

Oliver couldn't get up and run down to the beach fast enough. "Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!"

Jackson turned to Lilly, his lips still puckered. "Now how about a kiss, Lilly willy?"

She shook her head and looked exasperated. "Jackson!" But he'd already swept her up into a big wet sloppy kiss.

Miley's mouth practically hit the table.

Lilly brushed bright red and bent down to extract something from her bag. "Uh, scone?" she asked, handing over a tray of them to her friend.

Miley took one and ate it bitterly, her eyes still narrowed at her brother and her best friend.

"Oh yeah, Miles. Dad wanted me to ask you for a permit to dig some holes in your field… I mean, friend…"

Lilly glared at him. "Dig some holes in your friend?"

"Well it sounded better when he said it. So what do you say, Miles?"

"I say I liked it better when you were dating Ricina." Miley said swallowing a piece of scone.

"Oh that can be arranged" Ricina waggled her eyebrows suggestively at Jackson.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Jackson yelled following after Oliver.

"Donuts." Lilly sat back down beside Miley.

"No. Scones." Rico said wisely, taking the wig off and helping himself to the plate in front of him.

"So I'm guessing we won't need a dating site for a while" Lilly tried to relax the tense mood that was coming directly from Miley.

"Nope. Not now that we have donuts and scones." All three of them bit into a scone at the same time and smiled at each other.

**THE END**** (or is it?)**

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**I don't hear Bucky Kentucky singing off-key yet. So you know what that means... **

**FINAL VOTING FOR THE ENDING OF THIS STORY STARTS NOW!!!**


	24. Miley, Do You Want to Know a Secret?

_The score is: 333 to Moliver/Lackson, 300 to Loliver._

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**Miley, Do You Want to Know a Secret?**

* * *

**The Night Before**

_'You know. I meant it before.' Lilly typed into her iDate IM where she was still corresponding with the date that she liked to pretend, for some time, was still anonymous._

_'You meant what?'_

_'When I admitted to loving you.'_

_'When was this?'_

_'You donut! Right before Miley loved you!'_

_'So you love me too?'_

_'You had to be my date for a reason. Maybe it just took a bit of me seeing you with Miley to make me realize it.'_

_'This is a practical joke right?'_

_'I don't know. Do you want it to be?'_

_Oliver couldn't be more confused than what he was at that moment. He was dating Miley and now Lilly the girl he was supposed to be dating… He wished there was a beach nearby that he could run down screaming unto._

_So much for him being smooth with the lay-days (or ladies… Oliver couldn't spell things that didn't end in 'y' mostly because he rapped out everything in his head first)._

_'Com'on Oliver. I'm admitting how I feel here!'_

_'Don't you hate me?'_

_'Look, HannahMontanasBFF. How long have we been chatting online without anyone knowing it?'_

_'Two months.'_

_'And it's taken that whole two months to have me come to terms with the fact that you're my match. You were always supposed to me my match. We say the same thing at the same time all the time. We skate together. I have the most fun when I'm with you. It just took this stupid dating site to realize it.'_

_'So what now?'_

_'I'll tell Miley to meet us tomorrow.'_

* * *

"Com'on. We can do this. It's really easy, like ripping off a Band-Aid. Speaking of which" Lilly reached out and pulled the fluff that was sticking from Oliver's top lip. 

"Owch! Hey!" he exclaimed in an instant of redness burning his upper lip. "Can't you pretend that your new boyfriend is Richard instead?"

"Who's Richard?"

Oliver held the bit of fluff she gave him back lamely in front of his lip again.

"Miley has to know the truth, Oliver. Trust me; I didn't want to have to admit this any more than you did."

"Then explain to me how this happened again?"

"You were supposed to be my date. I did the equivalent of fainting, running straight into Jackson's" she stuck out her tongue at his name, "arms… and the shock of it all didn't seem to affect you at all."

"Smokin' Oken doesn't get scared."

"Smokin' Oken is going to be scared if this all doesn't go to plan."

"Was that a threat? Because that sounded like a threat."

"Anyway, it didn't take too long before I missed talking to you online and then I realized what I should have known all along."

"That the computer is smarter than you are?"

"That's it!" she said pushing him into the bushes near Rico's.

"Yah!"

"No, I realized that my best friend is my perfect match and has been all along. It's just too bad that I needed a stupid website to tell me that."

Oliver got himself up, brushing himself off. Miley joined them shortly after, wondering (quite understandably) why they'd told her to meet them here.

"Miley, thanks for meeting us here" Lilly said as Oliver tried to stick his false mustache back on and Lilly slapped it out of his hands.

"Something's going on… isn't it?"

"Remember two months ago how Oliver was my match in the iDate site?"

"I remember you running away screaming."

Oliver crossed his arms, "I'm still offended at that" he huffed.

"I kept in contact with him online and I know I should have told you, but it's just so embarrassing! I mean, it's Oliver!"

"You know we're not going out anymore if you're going to mock me like that" Oliver said plainly and then covered his mouth.

Miley looked between the two of them, "you're going out? You two? This is a practical joke right? Really funny. Ha!"

"No." Lilly's frowned, concern for her best friend written all over her face, "sometimes it feels like a really funny joke… but it's been two months and suddenly it doesn't feel weird anymore."

Oliver grabbed her hand; "It feels right" they both said at the same time and then turned to each other surprised that they were still finishing each other's sentences.

Miley's mouth hung open. "I don't believe this."

"I know you two went on that date that night, but when nothing else came of it…"

"I just can't believe you didn't tell me."

"It's not like we had anything to tell" Oliver answered, "I mean it's not like we've kissed or anything" Lilly slapped him on the arm. "What?! We haven't!" He defended himself.

"I only admitted it to Oliver last night" Lilly confessed. "I only admitted it to myself a few days ago."

"Is that why my darling brother was caught hooking up with my arch nemesis at the charity event this week?"

"Jackson's back together with Rico?" Oliver whispered as though it was a big secret.

"I think he likes to be called Ricina" Lilly whispered back.

"Naw, that's_ his_ arch nemesis." Miley answered, also whispering.

Lilly gasped. "You don't mean?"

"Yes I do. It seems what was good enough for Hannah is now good enough for Mikayla."

"Why are we whispering?" whispered Oliver to the two of them.

"Do you…" ventured Lilly, "still like Oliver?"

Miley didn't know what to say. "He's your match, not mine."

"I know. But it took me too long to realize that."

"I'm happy you finally did. I guess my reaction was just of wanting someone who knows me… well, more than Jake does anyway."

"But Jake knows your secret. You might never get that chance with anyone else again." Lilly said sounding disappointed that she took her BFF's man without a second thought – but technically, he was her match after all and she shouldn't have felt bad about it. She pushed Oliver over to Miley. "You can have him, Miles."

"What are you doing?!" Oliver shrieked, strangely sounding very feminine as he was pushed into Miley's arms.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

**This is the crunch time. Loliver or Moliver.**


	25. DStYGHKooH PREVIEW

**A/N.**

_Last chance for voting... but don't cry too hard if your pairing does not win - because there's always a chance in the follow up to** If My Girlfriend's Rico There's Gonna Be Trouble...**_

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**"Don't Stop Till You Get Him Kicked Out of Home"**

* * *

**Here's a SNEAK PEAK:**

"Celebrity party tonight Miles. Don't wait up."

Miley grit her teeth and stalked past her brother who was putting his new thousand dollar glasses on his face. Ever since he had become _Jacksayla_, he'd become if possible, even worse than when he was a part of _Jacksannah_.

"I was invited too" she said through her gritted teeth.

"Oh yeah" he suddenly remembered, "make sure you don't embarrass me. People will be there."

She rolled up her hand in a ball, knuckles whitening. She was going to sock him one. She was definitely going to sock him one this time.

He walked out the door shutting it behind him and she heard his car start up.

She went upstairs, still skulking until she saw "Lola" pop her head out of "Hannah's" wardrobe. "We're going to a party; we're going to a party!" Lola put on a little dance.

"Yeah, but so is Jacksayla." Miley huffed.

Lilly came over and put a hand on her friend's shoulder. "It's okay Miley. It'll all be over really soon. I mean, how long can it last? It's Jackson and Mikayla!"

"You'd think that. But she laughs at his jokes and tries to make Hannah jealous of them every second she gets."

"But it's Jackson and Mikayla!" Lilly made her point again, trying to sound as disbelieving as she could.

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**In other news go to 201easyboy at youtube for some humorous Hannah Montana vids!**

**LAST CHAPTER COMING REAL SOON!**


	26. Filming Miss Miley

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_And the final results are in:_

_MOLIVER: 373_

_LOLIVER: 350_

_And without further painful waiting for an update... __the final chapter of "If My Girlfriend's Rico There's Gonna Be Trouble" begins NOW:_

* * *

**ALTERNATE ENDING**

**The Ending That Almost Was…**

* * *

"But Jake knows your secret. You might never get that chance with anyone else again." Lilly said sounding disappointed that she took her BFF's man without a second thought – but technically, he was her match after all and she shouldn't have felt bad about it. She pushed Oliver over to Miley. "You can have him, Miles." 

"What are you doing?!" Oliver shrieked, strangely sounding very feminine as he was pushed into Miley's arms.

Miley blushed, and pushed him back into Lilly's waiting arms (well, her arms weren't really waiting and he hit her elbows, but Lilly recovered quickly and put her arms around him and kissed him on the top of his head).

"You're a true BFF, Miley."

"We've still got a lot of talking about this to happen."

"Yeah… I'm sure we do." Lilly agreed and then squealed suddenly. "Group hug!" Lilly squealed again and engulfed the two of them.

When Miley got back home she turned on her computer and went through Jackson's contacts, which was pretty easy because anyone in their right mind would know that Jackson's password was going to be _"hotchicks_". She scrolled down and sent a message.

_TennesseeMiles: Hey, evil scheming munchkin, I need your help._

_Irule4eva: Well, well, well… looks who has finally awoken to destiny._

_TennesseeMiles: I need to get my BFF to break up with my BF and I'm not evil or scheming enough to do it myself._

_Irule4eva: You came to the right place toots. You and I are gonna make sweet, sweet music together._

* * *

_But however…_

**MOLIVER WINS!**

**Which means that this is the REAL ending… and will be where the sequel is taking off from.**

**Enjoy! (And revel in your hard-earned victory Molivites)**

* * *

**Filming Miss Miley**

* * *

"But Jake knows your secret. You might never get that chance with anyone else again." Lilly said sounding disappointed that she took her BFF's man without a second thought – but technically, he was her match after all and she shouldn't have felt bad about it. She pushed Oliver over to Miley. "You can have him, Miles." 

"What are you doing?!" Oliver shrieked, strangely sounding very feminine as he was pushed into Miley's arms.

"Lights!" Lilly commanded and the lights around them at Rico's went on like stadium lights almost blinding the two of them in each other's arms who were (less figuratively than it sounds) caught like deer in headlights. 

"What are you doing?" Oliver shrieked again.

"Ohhh yeah… got yourself a REAL man there Lilly." Miley muttered, covering her eyes.

"And action!" Lilly called again and by the time their eyes adjusted to the brightness Rico was in front of them with a camera in his hands.

"What are you doing?" Oliver shrieked for a third time.

Rico laughed at him. "Being a big man for the camera there I see."

"You two didn't really think…?" Lilly began, laughing so hard that Miley thought brain might start coming out of her nose. "Oliver? And me?!!"

"Well Jackson sure thought so" Miley stated.

Lilly's eyes either darkened considerably or the red dots she had been seeing had worn completely off. Oliver on the other hand was still feeling around in front of him as if he was blinded. Miley had to smack his hands out of the way if they came too close to parts of her she didn't want him to touch.

"I just knew that unless I did something drastic, neither of you would admit how you felt for each other. Oh, and Miley… wave to the camera because I'm web-camming this to all your family back in Tennessee." 

Miley just felt like she'd been hit on the head with a rock. "Even Luanne?"

"Especially Luanne. I don't think she'd want to miss this." Came the amused Lilly. "Oh and this _might _just be broadcasted to the entire school as well" she added in her high voice.

Miley swallowed. "It _might_ be what?"

"So don't do anything you wouldn't want Jake to see."

Miley started to wring her hands together. "Oh, I'm going to do something alright…" she began advancing towards Lilly who yelped and ran past Rico down onto the beach. Miley stalked right past the boys as well, leaving Oliver without his support to fall down onto the sand.

"So… you've been duped by your two best friends. How does it feel?" Rico went in on a close up shot of Oliver's left nostril, exclaiming a moment later, "Wow. It really is bigger than the other one!"

Oliver blinked a couple of times and then collapsed. It was too much excitement for one day for him.

"I just thought if he was taken… then you would wait for so long to go out on a date with him!" Lilly squealed as Miley held her wrists down and brought her face down to peer at her angrily, sitting on her torso.

"You really thought I was too much of a chicken to go out with him?" Miley softened her grip.

"Well… I wouldn't have said 'chicken'. Maybe more like a mongoose?" She offered.

"So I'm a mongoose?"

Lilly sighed deeply. "Look Miley. Do you like Oliver or what?"

"I guess. It's just weird to admit it." Miley got up off Lilly and sat down beside her.

"Well... if you like him so much, what are you doing sitting here with me?" Lilly lifted herself up with her hands and dusted the sand off her body.

"So… what am I supposed to do now?"

"Go back. Kiss him on camera because I promised your Mamaw that I'd make you do that and don't hurt me for planning this."

Miley pulled her best friend into a hug. "Thank you." She said to her and turned back towards Rico's shack, running up to see if Oliver had recovered from the light.

He hadn't. He had passed out. "Aw, not again" Miley complained, getting down on her hands and knees while Rico zoomed in and out on the camera.

"And now for the money shot" Rico said, zooming in on Miley's backside.

"Oliver! Oliver!" She slapped him across the face a couple of times. He didn't reawaken.

Miley saw Lilly out of the corner of her eye. "I'm gonna need a bucket of water, pronto."

"Okie Dokie" Lilly replied, jumping over the counter at Rico's and causing Rico to get the camera off Miley's rear and follow her shouting for her to get out of his shop.

Lilly jumped back over with a bag of ice. "Will this do?"

"Yep" Miley replied as Lilly rushed over with the bag. They both worked at tearing it open, Miley at one end, Lilly at the other until it finally broke and ice went all over Oliver's body and face.

That did the trick. "Yahhh! No mom, I wasn't having those thoughts about Lilly's mom again. I swear!" He said in a daze.

"Oliver" Miley barked at him, trying to get him back to reality.

"M… Miley?" His eyes were readjusting properly this time. He grinned at her cheesily. "Miley" he repeated again, this time sounding relieved. "What's going on? Have you accepted me and Lilly?"

"There is no you and Lilly" she hoped she didn't sound too harsh.

"There isn't?"

"It was just a ploy to get me to ask you out on a date."

Oliver looked disappointed for a second and turned his head back so he could view Lilly upside-down as well from his spot on the ground. "Really?"

"Yes, really" Lilly answered him.

"Oh" Oliver said simply, keeping silent for a moment.

"If you don't want to…" Miley broke the silence.

"No I do!" Oliver brought himself up to look at her. Lilly indicated for Rico to get closer with the camera.

Miley looked at him, wondering if she had enough guts to do what Lilly told her to do. She finally decided she didn't want to be a mongoose and leaned over him. "Mamaw wanted me to do this" she told him before leaning all the way and grazing her lips with his. He, as dazed, kissed her back with his eyes closed, not really comprehending what was happening enough to get closer to her, his hands still supporting him on the sandy ground.

"Yeah sure. Blame your Mamaw" Oliver commented as she stopped kissing him to see if there was going to be any further response from him.

"Ok now you two… wave for the camera" Lilly and Rico chorused not completely in sync.

Oliver and Miley blushed and Miley picked up his hand and waved it for him.

"How embarrassing."

"We'll never be able to live it down" replied Oliver.

"This would have been so much easier if you had of just been my iDate match."

"Easier… but not as fun."

Lilly got down on her hands and knees and put her arms around the two of them. "That's right. This was fun."

"We'll have to do it again sometime" Miley replied, her voice full of irony.

Lilly didn't seem to catch it though. "We sure will" she smiled to herself dreamily. "We sure will…"

* * *

_"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to yooooooooooooooooooooooooou! Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday to YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"_

**Hear that? It must be the sou****nd of Bucky Kentucky singing, w****hich means it's time for you to**** wait patiently for the sequel (and go to my PROFILE to go to the TRAILER for it).**

**Donuts and scones (as bribes) can be sent via PM or review, you just have to squash them a little.**

**Thanks for reading! And make sure to give kisses to poor, on-the-verge-of-a-heart-attack-Oliver on the way out. **

**NOTE: Just because Moliver won THIS ROUND, doesn't mean that Loliver won't happen in the sequel. You, readers, just have to make it happen by blackmailing me (or reviewing, whatever works for you).**

**Peace out. **

**J.L.**


	27. Chapter 27

**.... **

**STOP!**

**Before you do anything else... **

**GO TO MY PROFILE AND CLICK ON THE LINK!!!**

**And come and ROLE PLAY with us at Avalon!!!**

_You can pretty much choose any character you like... or at least come and chat with us... we're all friendly._

(and yes, it's the reason I haven't been updating my fics lately... but roleplaying is heaps more fun!)


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